Insanity

Insanity. n. mental illness of such a severe nature that a person cannot distinguish fantasy from reality, cannot conduct her/his affairs due to psychosis, or is subject to uncontrollable impulsive behavior.

– Psychology Today

 It’s funny how a lot of people would seem to abuse the term and throw it around uselessly. But then again, with all of the stress coming from all directions, from family to friends to even the society, it would be nearly impossible to keep completely calm nowadays. When one paper has been submitted, obligations have to be fulfilled, promises have to be kept and duties have to be done. There’s no end to the list of what is to be done, which is why it’s ironic for one to find themselves in front of the laptop all day, checking out the latest episodes of their favorite series on Netflix, Youtube or some other video streaming site. 

 But what is true insanity? Psychology defines insanity, yet does not expound on it. It is but a mere abstract concept of what is abnormal. But perhaps it can be called extraordinary? Special? Or perhaps a way to keep away from the monotony of everyday life? Is it something that can be diagnosed in general? Or has it become a normal thing, which is why most would choose to ignore this?

No, it is neither of those things.

Imagine a scene in your head. Picture the scene that can be seen when you open a door that leads to the very core of your thoughts, feelings and source of your actions. Your decisions are based on the information that is processed in the very fragment that lies before you. It’s such a delicate piece that brings you to a stable mind. It is the very reason why you don’t stand before a hundred storey building. It’s why you generate ideas that transcend borders and will bring people to a better light with all the right strategies and measures.

Now, imagine that fragment falling to the ground. No, relax, it’s not going to shatter into a million tiny pieces. What you will see, though, will be a tiny crack. Each time it falls down, another crack appears. And all of them seem to add up each time. In every time that tears are shed, you have bled and exerted all of that sweat for nothing, that fragment falls down.

That’s exactly what insane feels like. The very reason for your existence keeps getting flawed and flawed, until you do not see the purpose for even acting the way that you are. The pressure and expectations have driven out how you think and feel, until you feel nothing. From that nothingness, you feel loneliness. No, not solitude kind of calm loneliness. The actual loneliness driving you up against the walls. You back up against the corners of your mind, lashing out at that thought to stay away from you. But it only keeps coming closer, until you can no longer take it. You take out the knife and place it against that very being who represents loneliness: yourself.

Insanity’s not the best feeling. It will drive you to do things not even your own sane mind can think about. It will drive out reason and optimism. Prolonged exposure to this is severely dangerous…

But that’s why there are people around who are ready to offer a helping hand, regardless of what situation you got yourself into.

 

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